This weekend Nathan was searching the internet. He claims he was reading the New York Times when an ad caught his attention. It said : 4 Things Dragging Men Down. He clicked it. From my seat on the other side of the room, I heard the powerpoint presentation begin with a warning: “Men, please tell any women in the room that they must leave. This information is not for them.”
Nathan turned to me and made a little shooing gesture with both of his hands. “Jenny, I think you should go do the dishes or something.” *
I sat down next to him to watch. The presentation began in earnest with a nostalgic recollection of the time of Neanderthals, when men could just club women on the head and drag them to a cave. I gave an incredulous grunt, to which Nathan replied, “I told you to leave the room. This presentation isn’t for you.”
The powerpoint went on to say that since the time of cavemen, the testosterone levels and sperm counts of men have been declining. The reasons? Plastics, bad estrogen, unhealthy eating, and BAD ESTROGEN! But- don’t worry, this research has been ongoing. It’s not like the 4 things dragging all men down were just thrown together…
The tenth slide in this presentation stated with authority: The research regarding declining masculinity has been extensive. We have been studying these effects for over a year. Whew. I mean, I thought it was hokey until I heard that. A YEAR? Thats like 365 days. Thats a lot of research. Though, I’m still a little confused about how they collected the sperm of Neanderthals to test their relative masculinity.
Maybe I’m just being a woman…so easily confused by my bad estrogen.
If you hadn’t guessed it, this presentation was for male enlargement drugs, masculinity boosters, and testosterone supplements. I could sum up the 30 minute presentation with a single thing that drags men down.
1. Preoccupation with masculinity.
Do you know what I find masculine? Integrity. Work Ethic. Kindness. They’re free! No testosterone powders, estrogen blockers, or ancient Chinese herbs required.
Although, I would suggest that men who are suckered by videos like these, take a daily multivitamin, because they’re clearly deficient in something. I’ve been studying the effects of B6 for like…two weeks, and research shows that it can improve your common sense.
* Nathan isn’t a chauvinist, this was a joke.