Today’s topic of conversation is the Moon Rabbit. (And also, a how-to guide for starting your own conspiracy theory)
I’ve been watching episodes of Ancient Aliens recently. So, I’ve got a pretty good idea of how deeply the truth regarding just about everything is buried. Which leads me to my first tip about starting a conspiracy theory. 1. Everyone is a liar.
Between 475BC to 221BC an anthology of Chinese poems, called Chu Ci mentioned the Moon Rabbit. During the Tang Dynasty (618-907) Li Bai, another Chinese poet, refers to the Rabbit again, “The rabbit in the moon pounds the medicine….”
These Moon Rabbit references might seem merely poetic fancy at first glance, but the Japanese, Buddhists, Aztecs, and Native Americans all have similar ‘tales’ regarding this creature. Which leads me to my second tip about conspiracy theories. 2. Make an accusation.
Why is the existence of this medicine-pounding-moon-creature kept secret by the government? What are they hiding? Something dangerous once lurked on the surface of the moon. Did you know that the Moon Rabbit was mentioned in a conversation between Houston and Apollo 11 just before it landed? It went like this:
Houston: Among the large headlines concerning Apollo this morning, there’s one asking that you watch for a lovely girl with a big rabbit. An ancient legend says a beautiful Chinese girl called Chang-O has been living there for 4000 years. It seems she was banished to the Moon because she stole the pill of immortality from her husband. You might also look for her companion, a large Chinese rabbit, who is easy to spot since he is always standing on his hind feet in the shade of a cinnamon tree. The name of the rabbit is not reported.
Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin: Okay. We’ll keep a close eye out for the bunny girl.
You can verify the truth of this conversation in the Apollo 11 Technical Air-to-Ground Voice Transcription document here:
If this creature was indeed ‘legend’ it is highly unlikely that Aldrin would have been warned by Houston about its potential presence on the moon. Isn’t it obvious that this was a poorly executed, yet critically important message? 3. Make people feel stupid for thinking logically. You would have to be a buffoon not to recognize that NASA was actually commanding Buzz to catch that Moon Rabbit, a deadly threat to humanity, skin it, and eat it. It has been suggested by experts (4. Make up expert suggestions) that the crew of Apollo 11 was out of food. Houston was killing two birds with one stone. Feed the crew and eliminate the ancient threat of the medicine pounding hare.
5. Make a strong closing statement that links this theory to all others.
There is a reason you have never heard of this episode in history. The government didn’t want you to. What else are they hiding?