I apologize for missing a few days this week folks. I had a number of items on my plate. Nothing helps me de-stress at the end of a long week quite like…you guessed it…replying to spam.
Regarding ‘The Origin of Spam’ : “Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue, may I test this? Nonetheless, a big part of people will omit your excellent writing because of this problem.”
Dear Cheap Creations,
Sure. You may test anything you like. But first, I would like to clarify that my name is not ‘Neat Post’. My name is Jenny. I would love some analysis on my issue. I should warn you, a big part of people probably don’t want to know anything about it. I’m glad you didn’t omit my excellent writing because of it.
The woman with the issue
Regarding ‘A Post Where Jenny Replies to Spam’ : “What a great blog over here! Thanks for sharing these interesting stuff!”
Dear Online Casino Nerd,
I have never heard of a Casino Nerd before. What are they like? Do you wear thick rimmed glasses? I’m not sure where ‘over here’ is, but I’m happy to know that my blog full of interesting stuff made it all the way over to where you are. I’d love to know more about the existence of casino nerds if you have time.
The woman writing a blog over here
Regarding ‘Shackleton Punches Out Walrus’ : “I inspired to the people I see, because all of them are Professionals and have self discipline.. Im so thankful because I LOVE INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY!”
Dear USB Drive,
I am also inspired by professionals and those with self discipline. Your love of information technology is obvious. No one with a normal appreciation for information technology would have put that entire sentence in bold all caps. I’m so thrilled because I LOVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY!
The woman who understands what inspires you
Regarding ‘The Art of Pre-mastication’ : “Did all of this seem alright for you?”
Dear Salem Oregon,
Hi! It’s been so long since I last visited. It’s not you. It’s my ex…his family lives in your area, and I don’t want to bump into anyone. That would be awkward. But listen, don’t be such a stranger. I’m only four hours away.
To answer your question, which I can only assume is referencing the idea of people pre-chewing their kid’s food, yes. The idea is alright for me. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to buy baby food for my offspring or whether I’m going to chew slim jims and then make my toddlers eat the slim jim goo out of my mouth. I imagine that no one can really know how they’re going to feed their babies until they have them.
Someone that you used to know
Regarding ‘When Nothing Strikes Me as Funny’ : “Popularity failure. Prominently diminishing guilt pads contributed.”
Dear Without Shipping Betray,
What? Guilt pads? I never had any guilt pads. My lack of guilt pads did not contribute to anything. Also, I take offense to your accusation that my popularity had a failure. I feel just as popular as I’ve always felt.
The woman without guilt pads
Regarding, ‘Another Episode of Drunk History’: “This is a message. I discovered your page via Google but it was difficult to find as you were not on the first page of search results. I see you could have more traffic because there are not many comments on your website yet. I managed to get close to 1000 visitors/day using services. Hope this helps. Take care.”
This is a reply. I am pleased that you took the time to read my very difficult to find website. Shame on google for not helping me get comments on my blog. I think it might be creepy to have 1000 people read my blog in a day, but if you send me your blog address I will send the creeps in your direction. Hope this helps.
The blogger with low traffic
Regarding ‘Drunk History’: “As explained here, while there are lots of ways to cheat in Diablo 3, such as naturally mistreating bugs and exploits in game. All of us work hard each week, constantly dealing around to be able to bring you the highest quality.”
Dear Diablo 3 Cheater,
As explained here, I have never played a game called Diablo 3. I assume there was a Diablo 1 and 2 before Diablo 3, and I have never played those either. Is Diablo like a Dungeons and Dragons game where people have fake lives? I sort of have a hard time believing you ‘work hard’ to bring me the highest quality, but that is neither here nor there. Also, I don’t approve of mistreating bugs. If they’re bothering you, kill them. If they’re not, leave them alone.
Someone who doesn’t understand you
Regarding, ‘A Post Where Jenny Responds to Spam’ :“Thank you a lot for providing individuals with an exceptionally nice opportunity to read from this site. It is always very useful and as well , full of a lot of fun for me personally and my office co-workers to search your web site particularly thrice weekly to study the newest guides you have. And of course, I’m so always astounded concerning the beautiful principles served by you. Some 3 tips in this post are unequivocally the most beneficial we’ve ever had.”
Dear Killer Roaches,
Some three points in your comment are unequivocally the most beneficial I have ever received. Thrice daily I check for spam comments, as they provide me with an exceptionally nice opportunity to make jokes. I am so pleased for you personally, and your office co-workers. I work very hard at writing about beautiful principles, so it’s nice that someone is noticing.
The woman with the newest guides